Mom & Dad's Crazy 2009 - Multiple Moves, Health Issues, CA Farewell Party, Final Move to New Home in WA State

Before you read this blog, please realize that I know now that the blog post is complete that it is way too long  (heavy sigh).  You know me.  Once I start talking, it's hard to stop!  HA!  I should have made this into several smaller posts, but as I was writing, it was all part of the story I was trying to tell.  And now that I'm finally done, I don't want to go through the work to change it into several smaller blogs and I don't think it would flow as well anyway.  But I still think and hope that the few people interested in our story would've read through each post to see what happened next so it may not have mattered anyway if it was one post or four smaller ones.  Hope that makes sense!  Thanks for reading.

2009 has been a crazy year for my parents (and Barbara, me and our families as well), but luckily things have worked out well for Mom and Dad as you will see by the end of this blog post.  Here's a recap of their difficult and event filled year:

FEBRUARY, 2009:  Mom and Dad moved from their mobile home of 12 years on the Vista/Oceanside border

Taken as they were leaving their mobile home

into a really nice assisted living facility named Brookdale

of San Marcos (about 15 minutes from their old home). 

Official family picture as we walked through the door

of their new Brookdale apartment for the first time

The nameplate to the right of their apartment door

Moving them involved donating or selling about 2/3 of their stuff, and then packing, moving and unpacking the other 1/3 to their new one-bedroom, one-bath deluxe apartment with an extra-large closet Dad customized as a computer room.  Barbara and I did all of this packing, selling and moving (along with a lot of moving help from Chris, Cory and Christopher) as well as all the paperwork and associated moving stuff in just 28 short days (and we lived through it, too!)  Our hope had been that they would enjoy the active senior lifestyle at Brookdale with all the many amenities available for many years to come.

Cory, Dad, Christopher and Mom on move-in day

This is our celebration dinner in their fancy new 

dining room on the night we moved them in. 

Boy were we all exhausted!

MAY, 2009:  They were just starting to feel a little settled when Mom fell in her bedroom on May 14th and scraped all the skin off her hand.  Luckily we opted to forego the skin grafting procedure that was recommended.  Two weeks later, on May 26th, Mom fell again.  This time she was in the bathroom getting ready for bed when she lost her balance and broke the C2 vertebrae in her neck.   A broken neck . . .  not a good thing.

MAY - OCTOBER, 2009:  Mom was in a rehabilitation center next door to Brookdale so that Dad could walk over easily each day to see her.  We also hired Pam, a wonderful aide, advocate and friend, to help care for her when Barbara and I couldn't be there.  This was a very tough time as Mom got pneumonia, had two pulmonary embolisms and got a very serious necrosis because the brace used for her broken neck rubbed away all the skin on the back of her head down to the skull bone.  It was very painful for Mom, to say the least.  Dad was also in the hospital for a few days due to some heart rhythm issues but thankfully he is fine now.  So for a few days both of them were in different hospitals at the same time; Barbara and I took turns going from one place to another!  Whew!  Glad that's over!

OCTOBER, 2009:  Because Mom's doctor informed us she would require 24-hour care the rest of her life, Barbara and I started looking into group homes where there was a live-in nurse and caregiver that could give Mom the extra care and assistance she needed.  Barbara found a great place in Bellingham, Washington, only 8 miles from her home, called Alabama Hill Adult Family Home.  But it wasn't safe for Mom to fly to Washington State, as she still had her pulmonary embolism.   Barbara and Sergei rented a motor home in Washington and made the two day drive down to San Marcos to pick us all up.  Wasn't that a great idea?  (good thinking, Sergei!)

I had been packing their personal items to take in the motor home to their new home.  Now, however, they were seriously downsizing, with only one bedroom to share.  I was also really busy handling the medical items and paperwork so Mom could be released while Barbara worked on handling things with their new home.  Because of insurance issues, and Mom and Dad's desire to be together as quickly as possible after 4+ months apart, we moved them to WA 7-9 days from the date the moving location/decision was made until the actual day we stepped into the motor home.  Once again things were so crazy and busy.  But, we Thorpe sisters JUMP when needed, and boy, was it necessary!  After all, they had been married 59 years and didn't want to be apart any longer.

OCTOBER 9, 2009:   We had a going-away party for Mom and Dad at Brookdale the night before we left for Washington.  We only invited a few family and close friends because everything happened so quickly.  Here are a few pictures from their going-away bash:

Mom and Dad on their last night in California, after having lived here since 1965, over 44 years

A look at the long table with some of the 20 guests or so

Marianne and Larry, Mom's niece and nephew

Dad and his best friend and golfing budding of 20+ years,
John Fontanesi

Mom and Dad and their good friends,
the Fontanesi's, John and Mary Ann

Mom and her close friend of 25 years or so, Flo Catley

Mom and Pam, her loving caregiver, saying goodbye

Mom and her 15 year-old grandson, Christopher,
just prior to saying goodbye

The Thorpe Family leaving the Brookdale dining room after the farewell party

Chris and Christopher helped Barbara and Sergei load the few things Mom and Dad could take to Washington into the motor home after the party so we could start out early for WA State the next morning.  And I took Mom back to Village Square, signed all discharge forms, gathered all medicine and packed her clothes.  Finally, it was her last night before moving to her new WA home and being together with Dad.

Back in her room at Village Square for her last night there - Yeah!

OCTOBER 10-11, 2009: Barbara, Sergei, Mom, Dad, Nita and 3 puppies (Chi, Mischa and Champ) headed out on our 1,350 mile trip at 7:30 am.  The motor home was very nice and comfortable and had all the conveniences but was a little loud and bumpy.  We all enjoyed the beautiful countryside and stopped at many fantastic rest stops along the way (that included gorgeous trees, my favorite).

Our Cruise America motor home

I was responsible for Mom, making sure she was comfortable, giving her her medicine, administering her breathing treatments 4 times per day, helping her to the bathroom, eating, etc. 

There was a nice big queen bed in the back of the motor home in which Mom and Dad napped or slept.  And Dad also enjoyed a few nice naps on a large couch.

We had a very nice and quick trip to Washington as Barbara and Sergei drove almost nonstop.  They were real troopers after having driven down from WA just a few days earlier.  I felt bad that I couldn't help drive but I wasn't able to find a Cruise America place and present myself in person with my driver's license, and therefore couldn't drive.  I had gone to one location that was listed online on the way to their farewell party but the location had moved, and then it was too late to find another one. We only stopped for food, gas, rest stops and for a few hours sleep on that Saturday night.

And this blog would not be complete without a picture of our three faithful and well travelled puppies.  While their eyes look a little funky with the flash, the picture was so cute I couldn't resist.  At top is Champ, Nita's brownish red Shih-Tzu puppy.  Barbara and Sergei's Havanese puppies are below:  Chi is white and gray on the left and his son, Mischa is black and white and on the right.  And, if anyone is interested, I have dozens of pictures of them individually during our trip!  Just email me!   : )

Finally, on Sunday night, October 11, 2009, we arrived in Bellingham, Washington at 8:30 pm.  Mom and Dad's new caregivers, Claudia and Tony, are a married couple that moved to the US several years ago from Romania.  They were instantly very warm and gracious, giving Mom a bouquet of flowers and Dad a "Welcome Home" balloon.  They have been very loving and attentive and have gone the extra mile to be sure Mom and Dad are comfortable and happy in their new home.  Here are some pictures from the first minute we arrived at their new home.

Claudia and Tony giving Mom and Dad their welcome gifts
in their new bedroom

This picture is in the large sitting/TV room with a big screen TV.  Beyond you can see the dining room which is across from the large kitchen area and at the far end is another large sun-filled sitting and game room.

Tony showing Mom the bathroom area

Meanwhile, back in San Marcos was their which was still filled with the remainder of their "stuff".  My good and loyal friend, Barb K, whom we had adopted into our Thorpe family years ago, and I worked like busy little beavers for two weekends.  We needed to have everything packed and gone by their move-out date of October 31st.

We packed up the remaining things they wanted in Washington that wouldn't fit in the motor home and loaded them into Dad's Nissan Altima which was then transported to WA. 

Still room for lots more stuff!  HA!

All packed and ready to go.  Hallelujah!!!

Luckily, I have a lot of my Aunt Jayne qualities, and for that I am very thankful.  She was Dad's younger sister who had the uncanny ability to fit so much in a very little space.  I used to be amazed when I visited her during the summer in Texas to see her fit yet more food into a very crammed refrigerator or cupboards that I swore wouldn't fit even one more little item.  I was so happy and proud that I was able to pack the rest of the stuff Mom and Dad wanted into their very small car, and I guarantee you I used every available nook and cranny, from floor to ceiling!

We also donated about 20 huge garbage bags to Goodwill and threw away 3-4 of these large rolling carts full of their other "stuff". 

These laundry carts were loaned to us by Brookdale so we didn't

have to make so many trips to the dumpster.  Thank heavens! 

We had a LOT of garbage and it was a very long walk!

Here's a picture of Barb K sitting down and relaxing after we had completed packing everything at Brookdale, as well as signing forms and having an inspection of Mom and Dad's apartment.  Barb K was really a trooper through a very long process of sweat, exhaustion and tears.  It would have been hard to face alone.  She helped me get through it all as quickly and easily as possible.  After all, she is a minimalist, and helped me to throw away or donate much more than I would have done without her!  : )

Picture taken on 10/31/09 at about 6 pm after a very long day

(which included driving 90 miles each way). 

Our deadline to have the apartment empty
and to be checked out was 10/31/09!

 But, alas, I now have the remaining furniture and other items in my garage to sell on Craig's List. As I just returned from Virginia, I haven't had time yet to sell these things.  But that is coming soon, as we can barely walk in our 3 car garage.  And believe me, it would really scare you to see a picture of my very crowded garage, so I think I'll omit it!

Mom and Dad have now been in WA for about 6 weeks and are loving it. Barbara and Sergei live very close and visit most everyday. Dad has a new laptop computer, their car arrived with all of their stuff, and they just had a fantastic Thanksgiving dinner yesterday to which Barbara, Sergei and Sergei's Mom were also invited. I miss them A LOT, as this was our first Thanksgiving apart in heaven knows how many years, but know they are in a great place and are happy there.

But here is the best news, the most important thing that transpired after a very difficult year.  Mom and Dad are at a wonderful new home in which they have everything they could ever need:  3 home-cooked meals per day, all laundry service and linen service, cleaning, medication management, entertainment and every personal or medical service Mom or Dad will ever need.  Hallelujah.

And best yet, they are together again after being separated for over four months.

This is a picture of them at the entrance to their bedroom

a few days after they moved into their new home.

Aren't they the cutest married couple

of 59+ years that you know?

We all love you, Mom and Dad!  You are the best.